Read This Before Contacting Me. If You Don’t, You’re An Asshole

-If you are from the media, please put Press in your subject line. You can see my previous press mentions in the press room … or as I like to call it, (borrowing from WWE) “the showcase of the immortals.”

Given the preference, for non-multimedia interviews (i.e. the stuff that’s not a radio interview, podcast, or television appearance) I prefer to do all interviews by email. I’m just not funny on the phone.

-Messages that won’t be answered: Link exchange requests, product pitches, product offers, requests to review or “give feedback” on projects, anything from my Mom, requests for tweets, retweets, and press releases.

I don’t do the retweets, #FF (Follow Friday on Twitter), or any of that shit. I found people get greedy, and if I do it once, they never stop asking. Or if they don’t like the results, they’ll just bitch about it.

So, if I see something I like, I’ll pass it on, but please don’t ask me to do it.

If you email me any of this other stuff, I will ignore you and report your message as Spam. That’s the online equivalent of excommunicating a priest. So … you’ve been warned.

-I do not: Invest, consult, offer workshops, or sell e-books / e-courses filled with marketing advice. The only thing I have to sell you is my book. Please don’t contact me about doing any of this stuff. I’m not interested.

Besides, if someone writes a book about how bad they were at marketing, and they shared everything they learned from the experience, why would you want to hire them?

Contact Information

Email: brandon@brandonmendelson.com

If I don’t respond to you in a week, email me again. Sometimes this stuff gets lost in my spam or bulk filter. Also? I take a really long time to answer my email, so hang with me. I will write you back if you followed the above rules.

Phone: (518) 832-9844. I’ll probably screen your call, but that’s really my number. I may also answer and breathe heavily just to fuck with you.

Mail: Brandon Mendelson, PO Box 2294, Glens Falls, NY, 12801. I use a PO Box so the weirdos can’t stalk me. The downside? Hot women dressed as Wonder Woman can’t find me either.

Twitter: @BJMendelson. Some people think it’s ok to call me B.J. or “Beej” because that’s my Twitter username. Its not. My name is Brandon. I just couldn’t use my full name because it was too long. If you see me use B.J. Mendelson on stuff that I write, that’s so people know it’s more of a serious kind of article than it is a straight-up humor column.

Representation: My literary agent is Dan Mandel at Sanford J. Greenburger & Associates. I don’t know why you need to know that, but I see every author list who their agents and publicists are. So, there you go.

I don’t currently have a publicist, but if you are in need of one I recommend you contact my friend Jill Falcone Vedric at jillvedric@gmail.com or by phone at 516-317-2005. Let her know I suggested you get in touch.